Replace all mention of Black Friday with Poop Emoji
When the time comes for third wave capitalism to swallow us whole and turn everything we hold dear into a mind-numbing series of *cha ching* sounds, enter this extension. When the time for Black Friday seems to be rung in earlier and earlier every year, we need a way to ignore it. With poop. Yes. One poop emoji per syllable of Black Friday. I thought about replacing the words with "Vapid Capitalism," but poop emoji are more fun. They smile. You're welcome.